I Really Hate People
Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 1:33PM 
There is no way of getting around it. People are the worst! Whether it is people protesting in the streets about God knows what or people forcing other people to be politically correct.
I just don’t get it. That is why people suck.
People suck at driving, people suck at walking (they walk to slow. You know who you are fat ass! Or should I say horizontally challenged?) People suck at talking, People are socially awkward, people smell funny, people eat crazy shit, people snore, people eat with their mouth open, people pick their nose (which there is nothing wrong with, I just need to point it out), people suck at cheering for a sports team, and people are the douchiest of douche bags.
Any way you look at it people are just straight up annoying. Let me give you a few examples of what Walt is talking about here:
1) I flew to Chicago this week and my flight was at 7AM. Everyone was essentially sleepwalking through the airport. Except for the person who was sitting next to me, of course! She was practically whistling Dixie. She tried to strike up a few conversations with me and I politely went along with the charade. I had the aisle seat and I had every intention of sleeping through the whole flight. As a matter of fact I fell asleep before we even took off.
(This drives wifesense crazy. It is a true gift from God.) About four minutes into flight time this woman taps me on the shoulder and asks me to switch seats. She has the middle seat and I have the aisle seat.
I am not sure why I even bother to ask but I had to find out her logic. Here is her thought process behind waking a stranger up on a flight: a.) She has never had an aisle seat before and she wanted to know what it was like and b.) Since I was going to sleep I would probably be more comfortable in the middle.
Are you freaking joking?
I didn’t even respond. I just reached down and grabbed my iPod. I put the earphones in my ears and cranked the music up then shut my eyes. I actually was PRAYING that she had to go to the bathroom, because Walt would not have woken up on purpose!
2) We are at a client in the suburbs of Chicago. We have no idea where we are so we asked the Receptionist what the best places to go to grab some lunch would be. She gave us confusing directions to this shopping center with her favorite deli.
Her directions were insane and we wound up on a major highway. So we got off at the next exit and wound up at a Jimmy John’s. As we were done at Jimmy John’s I filled up my cup with Iced Tea and brought it back with me.
The receptionist greeted me with a look of pure disgust. She blurted out “So the Spicy Pickle wasn’t up to your liking, eh?”
I was confused.
She nodded her head to my cup. I looked down and completely forgot that she wanted us to try the Spicy Pickle.
I told her we got lost on the way to the Spicy Pickle and we wound up at a Jimmy John’s.
She went into a diatribe about how I could have just asked where the Jimmy John’s was and she would have told me. I just SIGHED and walked back to the conference. She was still talking to me as I walked down the long hallway. You would have thought that she OWNED the Spicy Pickle (which is an awesome name for a deli.)
We came in this morning and the Site Manager asked me why I hated the Spicy Pickle. He told me they have the best Rueben’s. We were scheduled to have lunch brought in today. The Site Manager cancelled it he took us out to lunch today.
You know where we went? The Spicy Pickle!
You know what I think about the Spicy Pickle? Jimmy John’s is better (and that isn’t saying much).
3) I wrote a 1900 word article yesterday. It included a few funny nuggets that I observed this guy Hairy John doing the last time that we hung out, which was a long, long time ago. 
This story would of been better then the story of this kid
These nuggets have long since been forgotten so I was excited to write the article. Team Waltsense forwarded the article on to Hairy John for his approval. We thought it was the respectful thing to do and that Hairy John would get a good giggle out of it. NOOO!
Hairy John got his panties all up in a bunch and refused to let us post it, citing some God awful excuse about how this article will force him to lose the rest of his hair (which there isn’t much left) or something. I think he even mentioned that he would call us back about it, he just had to check with his significant other before he can speak freely about anything.
4) The guy that I am working with is young and likes to go out and party still. He went out on Sunday night and he was exhausted by the end of the day. Our hotel is 30 minutes away from the work site and he fell asleep on the ride home. I was envious to say the least so I put on some rap music to keep myself awake.
He woke up and looked over at the radio. He gathered his bearing and promptly turned the radio off. He informed me that he can’t sleep with the radio on. HAHA – good for you Pony Boy!
He is lucky he didn’t get slide across the face! I turned the radio back on and CRANKED it up! Needless to say he didn’t go back to sleep. To top it all off It was pouring rain out and we sat in traffic for about 1:10 minutes. I never enjoyed traffic so much! He didn’t ask me what I was doing for dinner last night…
Walt's Work Crew
I have a million other examples. I will keep note. This has to be a monthly, reoccurring article. You know why? Because People Blow Ass!!!
Until tomorrow peeps! Team Waltsense – UNITE!!!!!
Reader Comments (7)
Welcome back. You need to read the book "don't sweat the small things"
PS - You suck as well.
PS - Just kidding, but thought you like to hear that.
Funny you should mention this:
Truest TV moment ever. We just saw this last night and laughed our asses off.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAPOEHMrL5U
I'm coming over with an apple! We'll talk about all the people that are so easy to hate. I feel like I work with most of them.
Walt! You're back! Where the hell were you, you annoying piece of shit?
Man, I couldn't agree with more about the whole airplane thing. I had something similar happen to me on a recent flight out of Dallas but with a dude, which is rare. I wanted to say, "What the fuck, buddy? Are you so fucking insensitive that you can't tell that I barely care about my own stupid, meaningless life, let alone give a flying fuck about you and your pointless, miserable existence? Leave me the fuck alone!"
Naturally, of course, being the person I am, I chatted with him amiably the entire way back and arrived at the airport so worn out that I could barely drive myself home.
And you know what, I think Jimmy John's is way better than the Spicy Pickle. Cheaper, and it's a better sandwich with more meat. So fuck anybody who disagrees.
Oh, and that long article you wrote? Post it anyway! Who needs friends? They're just a pain in the ass.
I am just commenting cause my fiance (french for lady friend) commented on this blog. I too hate people and will be happy to submit a full article to you if you make this an ongoing piece. The thing about me is that people piss me off to no end and I insult 95% them as they are doing it yet they become my best friends. You know what I mean BFF... Call me we'll talk about it.
Hey glad you're back to blogging! I enjoyed this post.
The Pony Boy remark had me giggling! Too funny.
www.cocaineprincess.blogspot.com
Good to see you again Walt! And in such fine form too :-)