Wizard World – Philadelphia Comic Book Convention 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010 at 11:47PM 
“Don't call my name. Don't call my name, Alejandro. I'm not your babe. I'm not your babe, Fernando. Don't wanna kiss, don't wanna touch. Just smoke one cigarette and hush. Don't call my name. Don't call my name, Roberto. Alejandro. Alejandro. Ale-ale-jandro. Ale-ale-jandro.”
Lady Gaga is really growing on Walt! I may even name my next kid Fernando!
When this song comes on the radio, I crank that sucker up and belt out the names in my best Spanish accent. It makes my day.
Last Friday afternoon, it was absolutely beautiful outside so Walt strapped on his geek shoes and went to the biggest dork convention on the planet – Wizard World 2010, the Philadelphia Comic Book Convention.
Philly's Finest GeeksIt is absolutely the best people watching anywhere and I am not kidding.
I saw grown men dressed as Darth Maul and Luke Skywalker giving out free light saber lesson to little kids. They were showing each kid the major defense mechanisms, using a plastic light saber. Just in case a duel ever broke out in gym class or if Darth Vader ever invaded their mathletes competition these little dweebs were sure to be safe!
I was actually shocked to see a handful of cute girls in attendance. There is actually a strict stipulation on the guy-to-girl ratio at one of these events. If the ratio is ever less than 4027 Penises to 1 Pootang; it would cause the earth’s access to shift.
The geek sensory boards would overload and several heads would literally explode onsite and about 718 pairs of superhero costume pants would get soiled with man juice.
No one wants that. 
150 to drink with him? What a deal
Where else can you see Jake Busey? (Not Gary Busey, but his white ass son, Jake). You could actually get up close and personal with a G list celebrity! This jackass actually posted a sign in his booth that you could pay $150 bucks to drink a beer with him on Friday night! How awesome is that? You mean to tell me I could pay $150 bucks to drink with someone who is actually paler than I? Count Walt in!
I went with my big bro. These conventions are HUGE so we made it a point to split up and meet up every hour at the exit, to see if we got our fill. I got to the exit about five minutes before three o’clock and I waited patiently, soaking it all in. I look to my right and I got a hug from a dork dressed up as Boba Fett!
I was cracking up. Boba Fett went on his merry way and I continued to chuckle to myself. An older gentleman watched me curiously. He had on this huge sun blocking hat made of straw. We spoke for about a minute or so about how it is great people watching and how it will never get old. He walked away and promptly sat down in a booth and removed his hat. IT WAS ADAM WEST!!!
They sat him across the walkway from one of the original bat mobiles. I was stoked! I just talked to the Mayor on The Family Guy! Holy poop Batman!!
Me and my bro met up and walked around. He wanted to go over and check out the video game section. I wanted to walk around and catch what I missed. I was not disappointed.
I saw Nicolai Volkolv sitting in the same booth as The Iron Sheik. They were exchanging pleasantries. I was waiting for them to wrestle each other to the floor and The Sheik to strap that dirty Russian in the Camel Clutch!
Next to them was Greg “The Hammer” Valentine! I am going to go out on a limb here and say Mr. Valentine isn’t doing so well financially. I think they made the movie The Wrestler, after him. He really has aged poorly, and he wasn’t good looking to begin with. It looks like he is on a steady diet of Lucky Strikes and Pabst Blue Ribbon.
The Hammer was in a heated discussion with Johnny Fairplay and The Hammer had his WWF championship belt draped over his right shoulder – priceless!
I began reading my manual as to who was scheduled to appear at what time. I noticed that Jean-Luc Picard was supposed to sign autographs at 3:30. He was the “main event”!
I wanted to meet him and get him to say “The Force is with you”, or “Nanu-Nanu” from Mork and Mindy. That would have made my whole year. Unfortunately, the line of dorks spanned around the freaking building. You would have thought that the Beatles had just landed in the US. The geeks were swarming; it was a sea of pocket-protectors!
Still milking the soupI kept walking and the celebrities kept popping up. The Soup Nazi from Seinfeld was there, Linda Hamilton was there (she must be on the same diet as Greg “The Hammer”, not good Linda!) and the villain from Road Warrior (the guy with the Mohawk and huge shoulder pads was there).
I was in heaven!
Thank God I had my Green Lantern ring with me. I was able to use against an evil comic book salesman and sucker him into selling me the complete run (18 issues) of Simon Dark – Gotham’s other Super Hero!
Until tomorrow peeps – in the meantime, I have to go and find my protractor. I have a huge whitehead forming on the tip of my nose and I want to pop this sucker before it gets too noticeable. I also have to get my braces adjusted tomorrow. I am super pumped!!
I texted my buddy Jerry and he summed up the event perfectly - It is the one event where dorks and geeks set aside their differences and enjoy the festivities for the weekend.
He also asked me if I got laid. I told him only about 50 times.
He responded – with 48 dudes and two robots.
I told him that I don’t trust robots, they never call me back. Zing!
So robotic hot...
Comics, Humor, Philadelphia 
Reader Comments (4)
God bless Jake Busey - playing off one movie that revolved around his penis and having the audacity to to charge 150 to drink with him - god bless
The stuff you wrote about Jake Busey had me giggling!! He really had that sign?! Sheesh! I guess Hollywood movie studios aren't too interested in G-listed celebrities these days.
P.S. I love Lady Gaga!!!!! Been a fan of hers since day 1.
cocaineprincess.blogspot.com
Jake Busey was in a movie? Anyway, I'm not surprised there were cute girls at the show...geeks are very trendy right now. I've actually always wanted to go to a comic book convention. They look like a lot of fun, and I can't imagine a better place to people watch.
When I was scrolling down and saw Jake Busey's hair, I initially thought it was going to be a picture of Brigitte Nielsen. Haha the Busey's......I must say, his dad is a pretty witty twitterer or tweeter or whatever you call it.
The Iron Shiek is hilarious.