1980’s Slang means Where’s the Beef?
Thursday, April 15, 2010 at 10:55AM 
The Fat Boys are Back, and you know they can never be whack. Say, the Fat Boys are back and you know they can never be whack!
I am officially calling the skinny people trend as so 1988. Fat is in people! (If/When Walt loses significant weight, fat will be out!)
Ah, the eighties! What a crazy ass time to live.
A lot of times I look at what younger people start to wear and I wonder how shit actually comes full circle. Fashion trends always come back around.
Way back in the early 2000’s, the seventies trend came back in. Now, it looks like some of the 80’s trends are coming back.
Trust me on this one kids! You will regret it. The shit people wore in the eighties can only be described as fucking embarrassing.
I have no idea why anyone would revisit this era. The eighties Madonna look is freaking horrible, so are the tight jeans look.
There are a few things that I am hoping will make a comeback though. I have a closet full of Coca-Cola rugby shirts and a drawer full of corduroy OP shorts. I am just waiting to break these suckers out!
Writing this blog really takes me back. I can remember a ton of shit that I really shouldn’t remember.
Dude, I forget my kid’s birthdays but I can remember the first two audio cassettes my parents bought me and put in my Easter Basket. I can also remember the first audio cassette I bought with my own money (that I got for making Confirmation).
The first audio cassettes my parents bought me were The Bangles (with Walk Like and Egyptian on it) and New Edition (with Mr. Telephone Man on it).
I think I was in the second grade at the time of the Easter Basket.
The tape I bought with my own money was The Beastie Boys – License to Ill. Karl Humma turned me on to them; that crazy bastard. We were in the sixth grade.
People from the Roxborough area will fondly remember trips to Clover to buy Rude Dog T-shirts, Ocean Pacific Shorts, Bugle Boy jeans and pants, Parachute Pants, Docksiders and a box full of plastic combs to put in your back pocket. (Jammy Minn stills does this, he is not cool enough to use a switchblade comb). The trip would be polished off with a piping hot soft pretzel and either an ICEE or a jumbo jaw breaker that was the size of your head. (Seriously, who ever got those?)
I can also remember heading up to Woolworth’s on Ridge Avenue and opening up all of the Topps baseball card packs and stuffing 15 Jose Canseco Rated Rookie cards into one pack or Ken Griffey junior Donruss Rated Rookie.
My brother did the same thing only he had a thing for Kirby Puckett and Jim Abbott (the one armed pitcher! LOL). I am not kidding about that either.
Man, some of the trends were awesome.
The Bugle Jeans and pants had to be tight rolled at the bottle. Most of the pants had a different designed on the inside, so when you rolled them up the designed showed. That is awesome!
The parachute pants were fantastic too. They were awesome for break dancing (or what we thought was break dancing). They made a crazy swooshy sounds when you walked, kind of like running pants now. That used to crack me up.
I also remember New York laces, the fatter the better.
I used to buy two sets of laces at a time: One for the day time, and one for the night time. Or you could mix and match. Anyway you looked at it, you were looking sweet!
I can also remember someone showing up to school with a homemade Pleather Michael Jackson Beat It jacket. It made my whole year that year. (People even wore around one glittery glove!)
I can vividly recall the feeling of having off for Hurricane Gloria and it not even raining out. 94 WYSP played Rock You Like a Hurricane all day long, as we played wiffle ball in the street.
I do have a point to all of this: Since trends always seem to come back, home come lingo doesn’t?
The way we sounded as kids was awesome. I am declaring that we start bringing some of this shit back. I will start us off!
Here are a few examples that people need to start incorporating into their everyday dialogue. You get bonus points if you use any of these words in a business meeting.
1) Socked. As in “Hey Walt, why do you have a black eye?” Walt’s response “Because Barry socked me in the eye!”
2) Decked. As in “Barry better watch his back, he is going to get decked by Walt!”
3) Slid or Slide. “If Barry is not careful, he is going to get slid. Walt will definitely slide him!”
4) Deeked. “Man we were playing jail break and Bunn really deeked Tommy out. Tommy’s jock strap fell off!”
5) Booking. “Man did you see Bunn run by? He was really booking! He must be late for dinner.”
6) No Duh or No stinkin’ Der! I don’t really have to use this in the sentence but if you are sitting in a meeting and your boss says something that is completely obvious, just reply “NO STINKIN’ DERRRR!”
7) Smooth Move Ex-Lax. One of Walt’s favorites. I have no idea why this one ever stopped. I could use this on Wifesense 48 times a day. She is constantly tripping or falling over shit. “Smooth Move EX-LAX!”
8) Dickweed. I do not hear this enough. This curse word seems to have been put in the curse word vault, well I am breaking it back out. You fucking dickweeds!
9) Flamer. Enough said.
10) Poser. “Did you see the way awesome Kev Daly was acting?” Walt’s response “Yeah, he is such a poser.”
11) Dweeb. This work defines 98.4% of my friends.
12) Sucker MC’s. Again, if you can call your coworker a Sucker MC in a meeting, you will be a God!
13) Bozak. “All you sucka MC’s get off my jock, I jerk off into a sock! Now grab the bozak!
14) Noid. It is my motto, Avoid the Noid. It always has been.
15) Where’s the beef? Wifesense slowly takes off Walt’s underroo’s, she is shocked to the scene. She calmly looks up and asks “Where’s the beef?”
It is starting to get nice out around here. It is time for Walt to start shopping for some JAMS (preferably a set, with a matching halter top and partial fishnet.)
PSYCH!!! LOL. Psych.
Make the following phone call to one of your client for extra credit:
Client “Hello, you reached Independence Blue Cross, how can I help you?”
You “Mr. Stanley please”
Client “Who may I ask is calling?”
You “DEEZ NUTZ!!!!”
Peace Audi 5000 G!
Reader Comments (7)
Wats a happening Hot Stuff!
The one eighties trend I've noticed lately is the big dark sunglasses - the kind the cool person in a movie from that era would wear. Another sweet ass phrase is you betta check yo self. New Yorker laces rule!
Pretty damn funny, Walt! I remember the 70s and the 80s. They both pretty much sucked style wise. Makes me wonder if the 90s sucked or the 2010s suck and I just haven't noticed it yet.
Also funny about your son's birthday and your first cassettes. I can't remember my kid's birthdays, either, but I can still remember the first record I bought. Elvis. CC Rider. What the fuck was I thinking?
I can't beleive you didn' include getting Z-Cavaricci's from Two-Fers in the city. They always had a little something wrong with them but nobody cared because they were so cheap. So I just watched my boss trip and said to him "Smooth Move Ex-Lax", you are such a "Dickweed"...and then i got fired. THANKS WALTSENSE!!!
I thought the Z-Cavaricci phase was in the 90's then I remembered I started going to Gwo-Fers in 1989. Z-Cavaricci's used to give me serious gas!!!
ohhh you got faced...right after you roofed it when I was trying to call inters (interference).
Hey I was a Madonna wannabee! I had the lace gloves and everything! I think all little girls and the big ones did too.
I remember my sister's boyfriend from high school , he was into the whole Sonny Crockett look.
cocaineprincess.blogspot.com