The Go-Girl Pee Funnel Invention
Thursday, March 4, 2010 at 4:00PM 
What is the world coming to?
I woke up this morning a happy little camper. I got to sleep a little later than normal last night.
(I woke up at 7AM. The past two days, I got up a 4AM and 5AM, respectively.)
The Waltdog has been grumpy. I almost bit my bosses face off yesterday and I have so much drool backed up in my system that my eyes are constantly watering. The only time I can get rid of this drool is by dosing off into a deep coma-like sleep; if I had one more day of sleep depravity, I may have drowned.
I came into the office this morning whistling Dixie, or some version of Dixie, and with an extra pep in my step.
I powered my computer on and went directly to surfing the web and I came across the worst invention since the pedal powered wheelchair (this is just cruel, paraplegics would be stuck just sitting there), the inflatable dart board, the Cat Wig (Jimmy the Cat Whisperer has a closet full of these. RIP – Snowflake!) And the Anti-Eating Face Mask (Wifesense bought one of these for Walt for Christmas; it is essentially a metal face mask that makes you look like Hannibal Lector).
You know what tops the list of worst inventions ever? The Go-Girl Pee Funnel.
Got to Go Pee Jenny
It levels the playing field way too much. Guys need something to hang their hats on (no pun intended) and the one thing we always thought we could rely on is the fact that we pee standing up and girls don’t.
When I am peeing outside at a tailgate the last thing I want to do is look over and see a girl standing next to me emptying her funnel while peeping my small ass unit.
It is inconceivable. Congress needs to intervene here. This is more important than Healthcare and the failed economy.
This also gets in the way of the one thing that guys do to get even with their petty wives; leave the toilet seat up so the wives have to either sit on a cold porcelain toilet seat or fall into the toilet bowl altogether.
It is a subtle way to remind them of the male superiority. So you keep complaining about Walt not putting out the garbage? BAM !!– a splash of toilet water at 6AM will take care of that.
OH, so you keep complaining that Walt keeps leaving his clothes on top of the hamper instead of in it? KABOOM!! – enjoy sitting on a pee-pee covered porcelain toilet seat. Case closed!
You guys get the idea. We cannot let this happen. We need to hold on to the one thing that actually makes us men – peeing standing up! 
Damnnn!!!!!!!!!
If we are not careful women are going to start demanding more shit from us – hell they may even get to vote in the elections someday, or even demand that ugly women get to become flight attendants. I cringe at the thought.
The Go-Girl is not considered a funnel by its maker it is considered a female urination device. What?
The Go-Girl is disposable, and comes with tissue and a biodegradable baggie all in the neat little cylinder that fits in your purse or pocket. You can buy one here for $4.99 (you can also buy a t-shirt, cap, or shorts, in case you want the world to know you like to pee standing up).
I am actually happy that it is disposable. That is ingenious. The last thing I want to see is a pee-encrusted funnel sitting in the dishwasher making all of our other dishes smell like rotten tuna and asparagus. This puts an end to that horror.
It is actually pretty cheap too. I have a feeling that women will be walking around with bulges in their crotches in no time. Is that a squirrel in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Hold that thought – Walt has to go empty his funnel. His penis seems to be in hibernation again. It has been a long winter, hopefully I see the little guy again soon! Bon Chance little pee-pee Bon Chance!
I may need to get me one of those t-shirts too. I love peeing standing up!
Their motto is awesome to – Don’t take life sitting down. LOL. That is awesome! You Go Girl!
Business, Humor, Inventions 
Reader Comments (7)
Great - now I am going to think everygirl I see standing up is a tranny. ANd what do they do with the tube - wash it down the drain? This should be marketed as a Tailgate tool for women. Slap an Eagles symbol on it and watch the sales roll in.
I don't know what to say other than: EWWWW!
What an idiotic invention.
If they'd had these when I was in college my friends and I would have stayed longer at frat parties. Our rule was "If its time to go, its time to GO".
Awesome! This will prevent splashback all over my couch.
I wouldn't knock this product. If they had them when I was going to concerts and clubs and the stadium I would have used one in a heartbeat. Instead I went into the mens room which was okay too.
Where do you find out about these things, Walt? Where do you find these photos of women peeingin urinals? And who would do that? Have you ever looked in a urinal? I wouldn't use them, except that I have to. They're foul, and disgusting. I think women are better off sitting down in their own facilities. They have no idea what men's rooms are like.
Obviously, you have never been inside a public women's restroom. They are disgusting. No self-respecting woman will plant her ass on the disgusting "I-don't-know-who's-crab-infested-ass-has-been-there-before-mine" toilet seat, so we squat precariously somewhat in the vicinity of the bowl and then pee all over the seat and the floor!