Driving and Annoying Habits
Thursday, September 10, 2009 at 5:46PM 
I had to drive into work this morning and I have a few complaints about the morning commute.
I was able to drive 70 mph for about 3 miles on the so-called expressway (I-76) then I come to a complete stop for 5 minutes/1 mile. Then things would open back up and I would be cruising at 70 mph for another 3 miles then come to another complete stop for another mile. This cycle repeats itself the whole way into the city.
I know I have no room complaining considering the traffic volume in New York, Los Angeles and the Beltway but come on!
A few notes for people out there:
It should be illegal for any state troopers/cops to sit on the side of the road during rush hour. It should actually be illegal for them to issue tickets for speeding from 6AM to 9AM and 4PM to 6PM. They are the major cause for traffic and they know it. Their flashing lights mesmerize the idiot drivers on the road causing them to slow down to see what is going on. I hate people.
To the drivers that must stop to watch the cop’s lights; take an alternate route or keep in the right hand lane let us normal drivers drive in the left hand lane without slowing down.
For the traffic jam that occurs for no reason at all? I am at a loss for words. I cannot explain the need for people to slow down for no apparent reason. It baffles me. Again, I hate people.
It isn’t even raining here. If that were the case I would probably be in a straight jacket right now babbling to myself about the car missing 3 hubcaps with the woman driver that was talking on her cell phone and painting her nails while driving 38 mph in the left hand lane and stopping at every sight of a rain drop on her windshield.
If you are not going to drive over the speed limit, stay in the right hand lane.
One more complaint about this morning; how come only two radio stations in Philadelphia actually play music in the morning? There are mornings I want to listen to music, is that so much to ask for about the RADIO?
Every station has a morning show team, and each one is worst than the next. Does anyone seriously listen to Chio in the Morning? Seriously, if you listen to this guy you should have to wear a sign around your neck and wear red ear muffs to alert people that you have a terrible sense of humor.
I could care freaking less what women do to turn off men, or what Kanye West’s new haircut reminds Chio of. So Britney Spears went shopping last night; who give a shit.
Here is a new idea: Play some freaking music and save peoples’ ears from bleeding.
Onto the blog;
I worked in a few different cities the past two years. I went from Dallas, to Boston, to New York, to Chicago, to Saint Louis and to Kansas City. I met people from all walks of life.
The accents are awesome.
There are two accent habits I notice people understand. I am talking about the people that I travel with and currently live (or are born and raised) in Philadelphia.
I noticed that one of my female co-workers mysteriously picks up the accent of the different places. I traveled with her to Dallas, Chicago and Boston.
She is from Washington DC. While being in Dallas for approximately 42 minutes, she mysteriously began talking in a Southern drawl and even used the local lingo ‘you all”. Seriously? I didn’t know you were a Southern Bell, considering you grew up in the North East.
It didn’t stop there. After two days in Boston you would have thought she was a Southey. Her Boston accent was Wicked Mad yo! It was as creamy thick as chowda! I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE FROM, stop trying to fit in and use your normal freaking voice.
People never cease to amaze me.
I wonder if these people pick up foreign accents. Would this girl start talking with a Irish Brogg while in Ireland? If she had a lay over in France would she start speaking in a French accent? Would she start thumbing her nose at the stupid American tourist, while sipping he red wine, eating her baguette and smoking her cigarette through a cigarette extension and wearing a beret, stripped shirt and scarf?
Only time will tell. I know a few other people that do this as well, so she is not alone.
Another accent phenomenon I picked up on is the glorious Italian-American people. We all know the type, the ones that have to remind the people around them that they are indeed Italian 48 times a day.
You’re Italian? Really? I wouldn’t have guess considering you drive a red I-Roc and grease your hair back using two tubes of Vaseline in the process, or the fact that your name is Rocco Maggiano Bertucci-Manicotti III.
Tell me again what nationality you are? I forgot. I cannot stop staring at your Italian horn charm on your thick gold chain protruding from the hair sweater you have tucked under your unbutton shirt or the Italian flag tattoo on your calf.
Oh, you are Italian, that’s right. I couldn’t tell by your over pronunciation of the words Mozzarella, Ricotta or Prosciutto. I didn’t realize they were pronounced: MOOOT-SIR-ELLA, REA-COATTT-AAAA, or PRO-SHOOT-AAAAAA.
Oh, I forgot that is gravy on your spaghetti not spaghetti sauce, my bad.
Hey Tony, how about a slice of pepperoni pizza, I gotta no job a. What’s a matta with a you-a face-a?
Ah the glorious people from South Philadelphia, you have to love them.
Reader Comments (6)
Italians are great...loud and proud ...but it can be over the top at times. Be funny if all the irish peeps lived in a town and got drunk and talk with irish slang...and painted houses together.
Well very funny photo, but its a shame people do not know how to phreaking drive anymore. Well I saw your blog on blog catalog and I just had to say I am from Philadelphia myself. It is a jungle out here but its what you make it.
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"hey tony! i gotta no job. how bout a pepperoni pizza? is a great sentence and so typical
What a small world: I hate people too.
But then what would we blog about?
I've traveled a bit, but the only place where I picked up an accent was when I went to Nashville. I don't know why I did it there, but no where else. Maybe because the southern accent was easier for me to imitate, who knows.
Hahaha!!! Gosh, I've missed you! (I couldn't access your blog from the pit of despair I set up camp in a couple months ago). But hey-- before I started turning really white, I had an olive tone to my beige skin. With the black hair and New York attitude of 'leave me the f** alone', I was often assumed to be Italian (it didn't help that I'm also a damn good cook and actually know how to make the perfect meatball; but I digress).
Do I have 14 siblings? No. Am I attempting to try and pass off a shiny or suede track suit as my Sunday's best? No. Have I ever tried to impress someone with stories of secretly being "connected"? No. Do I have an older brother/cousin/uncle Carmine, that you have to worry about? Not to my knowledge, but my mother's a bit of a hoochie, so who knows on that one. REGARDLESS. The accusations of such a heritage only cheapened me.
I recently moved from Upstate New York to the Portland, OR area of Washington... I had no idea New Yorkers were the assholes of the United States!!! All I hear now is, "Really? You're from New York? But you're so nice!" My response to that is just, "Don't confuse New Yorkers with Italians... they ruin it for the rest of us."
...I don't even have a little Italian in me (which, from what I hear, could be accomplished in a one night stand with any one of them). Ha!
I was a way for a while out of town and missed reading your blog. You make me laugh. I don't like to live in the city (Toronto) but, you reminded me of something to be thankful for... public transit!! I hated driving (I grew up in the burbs) because of the traffic. I'm glad I don't have to do that any more. Your pictures are always so funny. Those men are so GROSS!!