Ah another beautiful day outside. Thank God I get to stare at my gray, bland cubicle wall for the next 8.5 hours. How come they make offices so dreary? Work sucks as it is, they could at least spruce the place up a little. Maybe have the floor made out of sand or something and have cabanas instead of cubicles.

I love the smell of sun tan lotion but that is a completely different topic.

I woke up a little late this morning and quickly hoped out of bed, pulling every major muscle in my right leg in the process. I hobbled into the bathroom and quickly de-robed. I caught a glance at myself in the mirror and notice how pathetic my body has become.

I have put my body through years of torture, and it didn’t deserve it. It didn’t do anything to me. I also noticed that I got a few more wrinkles forming on my balls (he-he). I am not aging gracefully.

You cannot pick up a newspaper or turn on the television without seeing an image of Michael Jackson. It is getting exhausting.

Farah Fawcett died last week too people! She was smoking hot, even as she got older.

It got me to thinking about the chicks I adored growing up and how they are aging. For every Farah there is a Meg Ryan and Melanie Griffith’s of the world. They cannot stand getting old and they inject all this crazy shit into their face and they can’t smile or move their lips anymore.

Some of the girls I adored growing up have aged gracefully and some haven’t seemed to age at all. Here is a list of 10 chicks from my childhood that have aged the best, according to the Waltdog:

10) Phoebe Cates

The scene of her coming out of the pool in Fast Times at Ridgemont High is etched on every guy’s brain from the ages of 28-97. She was breathtaking back then and looks pretty hot now. I always wondered why she didn’t become bigger than she did, she is gorgeous!

9) Christie Brinkley

She really doesn’t look all that much different, which is to say she is still beautiful. She seems a little crazy though, so I knocked her down a few pegs. I can guarantee that a picture of her was pinned up on 92% of every guy’s wall in the 1980’s.

8) Elle McPherson

It is so easy to pick Supermodels for this list, they don’t seem to age. I think they are chronogenically frozen at night and they only eat grass seeds and carrots during the day. They also probably get spa treatment hourly and drive around with anti-aging creamon their face and cucumber slices over their eyes. Still Elle is the girl that made me fall in love with long legs. She is smoking hot.

7) Elizabeth Shue

First Karate Kid, then Don’t Tell Momma the Babysitter is Dead: I loved her. She still looks great too. I don’t know what she has been up too, but her pictures look great!

6) Heather Locklear

She doesn’t look any different. She still has it! She would be number one on my list, but she is tainted with Rickie Sambora saliva and other bodily fluids. I cannot get past that. Why are famous girls attracted to Rock stars that essentially look like women? The Rock stars even go out in public wearing tight leather pants. Normal guys don’t do this kind of stuff. I will never get it. Actually maybe I will wear my tight leather pants or assless leather chaps to work tomorrow…

5) Rachel Hunter

Out of all of the Supermodels from the 1980’s or early 1990’s I thought she was the hottest. She had the best body and the cutest/prettiest face. Her accent is awesome too. She has a tendency to fluctuant in weight, but I can get past that. She would be either 1 or 1A on this list but she has the same problem as Heather Locklear, she was married and is tainted with Rod Stewarts semen, that is not good.

4) Cindy Crawford

The All American Girl and the dream girl for every American Guy. She still has it too. She looks great. Again I think I saw her driving with hot lava rocks taped to her back and warm mud all over her face.

3) Claudia Schiffer

I think she was married to that crazy magician guy. He must be loaded. Who wants to introduce their significant other to people as the magician? He probably had a closet full of capes and bunny rabbits. I saw her in Love Actually and she has become prettier with age. I didn’t care for her all too much growing up, but now, she looks amazing.

2) Punky Brewster

She was sort of goofy looking in the 1980’s but she is smoking (and I mean smoking) hot now. I don’t know what she does for a living and I don’t care, she has aged beautifully.

1) Alyssa Milano

She doesn’t look any different, with the exception of a better body. What does she do? She looks awesome. I am assuming she has had a crazy ‘recreation” habit or two along the way and she still looks awesome. I loved her growing up, she was so cute and now she is a smoking hot grown up who loves baseball. Does it get any better? Does she whack brew and burp in your face? If so, call me!

Please support the Sea Isle Wiffle Ball Classic 2009, a fundraiser for Autism Speaks