The Waltdog is back on the road again this week. I am currently in Chicago. Or as my boy Kevin says: singing “Chi-ca-GO!”

I am on the Midwestern wing of my book tour. I haven’t written a book yet, I just walk into any Borders I see and tell them that I am Ron Weasley from Harry Potter and I start signing the shiznit out of every Harry Potter book I come across. I even signed a few copies of New Moon for the hell of it.

The running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain, just took place. I didn’t realize it, but there is actually more than one Bull Run each year. They start on July 7^th (of every year) and end on July 14^th. You must be 18 years old to do it and I am pretty sure women aren’t allowed to do. (Women do ruin everything!)

That is bullshit (He-he). Get it, bullshit? That is awesome.

I have a point to be made to all you crazy Europeans who do this every year; do your selves a favor and splurge on a good pair of running shoes. You can get them on the internet now, so there is no excuse to be wearing those crazy, flat bottom ‘sneaker-shoe’ that Europeans wear and try and pass off as a sneaker. Buy a pair of Nike’s and don’t get yourself killed.

Seriously, look at the picture at the beginning of this blog, there is not one person in that picture that has a pair of cross trainers or normal sneakers on. I don’t see one major brand of sneaker in the photo.

How do societies come to the conclusion the 18 years is the right age to do anything? It seems to be the standard. I was such an idiot at 18, even more so than I am now. I shouldn’t have been allowed to put on my underwear unsupervised, let alone vote and Run with freaking Bulls.

This is something I always wanted to do. I don’t know why, but I always wanted to run with the Bulls as it like a ton of fun.

I probably would chicken out at the last minute, but I would still want to be there to witness it. I know Wifesense would love to do it too, maybe when our kids get older we can hook this up.

Or maybe we can gather up a bunch of fat people and dress them up as bulls and have them chase all of the little kids around our backyard. That should be easy to coordinate; unless fat people get offended by the suggestion of dressing up as a bull (or us suggesting to the fat people that they are fat enough to be a bull.)

Bulls are probably faster than fat people though, so it wouldn’t be as exciting.

I know how I have talked about this before, but I have a strange feeling that I can ride an electric bull for like 17 straight days. I don’t know why, I just think I can. I have never actually seen an electric bull in person, so I will probably never find out. I feel a connection, like we are kindred spirits or something (I don’t even know what that means, but it sounds about right).

So me and these bulls from the Bull Run actually have some sort of connection (they are the distant cousin of the electric bull so we are equals). Unless they gore me in my pooper, then I wouldn’t be so in tune with them.

How did they come up with the idea of running with the Bulls anyway? It is a pretty crazy idea, I will 100% guarantee a ton of alcohol was involved in the first Bull Run and a stupid dare was made. That is how all of the stupid events of the world begin.

Bugs Bunny made defeating a Bull look so easy and demoralizing to the Bull, so I know I can do it too. I just need my chance.

Note to Wifesense: pack the bags. We may be off to Pamplona. Or contact all the fat people you know and see if they own a bull costume.

I will try and get off this book tour quickly.

PS – Does smoke really come out of a Bull’s nostrils when they are made? If so that is awesome.