Boy Hit by Meteorite and Lives to Tell About It
Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 12:21PM 
Gerrit Blank was on his way to school when he saw a massive fireball heading straight towards him from the sky. The white-hot meteorite bounced off the schoolboy's hand and hit the ground so hard it left a foot-long crater in the tarmac - as well as a three-inch scar on his hand.
Gerrit, 14, said: "At first I just saw a large ball of light and then I suddenly felt a pain in my hand. Then, a split second after that, there was an enormous bang like a crash of thunder.The noise that came after the flash of light was so loud that my ears were ringing for hours afterwards. When it hit me it [had] me flying and then was still going fast enough to bury itself in the road."
Scientists are now studying the pea-sized meteorite, which crashed to Earth in Essen in Germany.Chemical tests on the rock have now proved it is from outer space.
Chances of being struck by a meteorite are around 1 in 100 million. There is only one other known case of a human being surviving a direct hit from a meteor. A grapefruit-sized meteor crashed through the roof of a house in Alabama, in the USA, in 1954. After smashing through the top of the building, it bounced off furniture and then hit a woman who was asleep at the time.
What the shit is this?
How insane is that? You are walking down the street and you get hit by a freaking meteorite? That dude has terrible luck.
I was actually thinking this kid saw the light coming towards him and he didn’t think to move out of the way? Then I realized that the meteorite was travelling 30,000 miles an hour. 30,000 miles an hour! Holy poop that is fast. He is lucky he didn’t wind up in China or something.
If I were his friend, I would consider stopping our friendship. This dude is destined to get hit by a bus or eaten by a land shark or Godzilla.
"You have a better chance of getting hit by a meteor than hooking up with me."I do have one question to be asked about this story. Someone has calculated the statistical odds of getting hit by a meteorite? Why? Did someone bring this up in a meeting or something?
Scientist Boss: “Karl, what do you have on you plate today?”
Karl: “I was going to examine the 12th moon of Saturn.”
Scientist Boss: “Well don’t, we need you to calculate the chances of getting hit by a meteorite on earth, pronto!”
Karl: “What?”
Scientist Boss: “Don’t question me boy, or you’ll get sent back to polishing the ball bearings.”
That is nuts. I remember when I was in the 4th grade; it was the Monday after my birthday. I got the insulated Members Only jacket and it was gray. It was awesome. It was one of the best gifts I have ever gotten.
It wasn’t the flimsy wind breaker type jacket. I am talking the puffy insulated jacket. I would be the only one in my class with this sucker.
I remember the feeling of receiving it on my birthday and I couldn’t wait to show it off in school.
I dreamt of the scores of students at my grade school parting like the Red Sea and gawking at my new gray Members Only jacket. Chicks were diving at my feet and all of my friends were jealous. It was like a ticker tape parade. Women were throwing roses and underwear at me. It was awesome.
In my dream I felt like Donnie Walberg from the New Kids on the Block (I couldn’t think of anyone that was big back then, so he was my point of reference).
Well, on the way to school, I started walking down my street and made it about 28 feet from my house when I got shit on by a bird. Goddamit! Are you kidding me? A freaking bird crapped right on the front of my jacket, directly above the cool Members Only emblem, above the front pocket.
I bet you that bird went back to all of his friends, cracking up and telling them that he just shit on this dorky kid’s brand new jacket. I think he fell from the sky in laughter. That bastard!
I was so freaking pissed off. On top of that it was like 97 degrees outside in October, so I went back home and changed. The Members Only jacket had to wait another week to be unveiled.
(I did stay home late and watch The Jetsons and I missed first period, which was awesome).
The point of my story is that this was probably the worst thing that has happened to me, falling from the sky, and this kid is walking down the street and GETS HIT WITH A METEORITE! That is the craziest thing I have ever heard.
This is how you get super powers. This kid will be shooting fire balls from his ass and catching bullets with his teeth in no time. Hang in there Meteor Boy! It is only going to get better!
He should start cape shopping now. (Why do most super heroes wear capes? It is an odd choice of fashion and I don’t think I have ever seen a superhero chose non-form fitting attire. I am not saying that superheroes should wear bagging clothes, just not tights that show off their nuggets. That is all we ask.)
Reader Comments (7)
Members Only should come back in business as Members Only If You Wish to Make Love to me .
He'll have the super human ability to pass ginormous kidney stones out his left nostril.
Yeah, but the kid's safe now. The odds against him getting hit by ANOTHER meteor must be incalculable.
His friends are probably safe... how many times can you possibly get hit by a meteor, and once you have been, you've probably already paid your dues. BTW, love your superhero custume.... LMAO @ "What the shit is this?"
I will check with Karl on calculating getting hit by two meteorites. He may need to buy a financial calculator to figure that one out.
Proof positive that God hates Germans and also that he's a lousy aim.
The president of Iraq loves to wear a Members Only jacket...the only funny thing about him.