The article title is from one of the all time classic drunk conversations. My friend Barry was completely wrecked one night and was trying to convey a very important message to his friends:

Barry (drunk): “Guys, I wanna top at mawa.” (He falls asleep.)

Bunndini: “What?” – laughing.

Barry is still sleeping. He awakes.

Barry (even drunker): “Guys! I WANNA TOP AT MAWA!”

He falls asleep again.

Waltdog: “What the hell did he just say?”

Barry (drunker than drunk): SNORING.

Barry wakes up and looks around, confused.

Barry (drunkest ever): “Are we at mawa?”

Rob: “Yes, yes we are at mawa.”

What my pleasantly drunk friend Barry was trying to convey was that he wanted to stop at Wawa, which is very difficult to say when you are 27 Bud Lights, 14 shots of whiskey and 3.2 packs of Marlboro Lights deep. (Heck, any English is difficult at that point).

If someone tells you they wanna top at mawa, pull over and get them a hard hat, they are going to need it at some point that night.

I was on my way into work this morning and I had to get me some caffeine to start the day. I passed about 82 7/11’s and 14 A-Plus’s and I would never, ever consider stopping there. I would drive 34 miles out of my way to get to a Wawa.

Thank you, come again.Is the comparison between Wawa, 7/11 and any other convenience store really that great?

Yes, yes it is.

All 7-11s seem very dirty, expensive and you smell like dirty socks when you leave there and I have no idea why.

A-Plus’s aren’t all that bad, they just have a limited selection of stuff. A-Plus is a good place to get Gatorade and some chips. Other than that, they stink. You can get gas too, but you can do that at most Wawa’s now too.

Wawa’s are clean, inexpensive and you can practically go shopping for anything in there.

I bought a spare tire, some Fruit Loops, a pair of suspenders, a root canal, an extra button for my pants and a chicken salad hoagie, all in one trip. I was stuffed and my pants didn’t fall down. I couldn’t do that at any other convenience store.

Yes, that's Johnny Knoxville with a Wawa tattooDid you ever notice when a Wawa gets built within a block or two from a 7/11, the Wawa parking lot is always packed to the gills. People are parking on the street, or they are walking 4 miles to get there, or they take the bus. Heck, I saw one person leave their car in neutral and hop out of the car while it was moving, just to get into Wawa.

It is addicting.

While the new Wawa is packed with people, the 7/11 has two cars in it and one belongs to the person working there, but they never, ever go out of business. I have never seen a 7/11 close before. How does this happen? And why wouldn’t they try and mimic the more successful Wawa model? It is baffling.

Anyway, today the Waltdog is going to top at Mawa, he needs a steering wheel cover, a pair of driving gloves and directions to the hidden Rebel base for the Emperor, he is getting impatient driving around lost in the Death Star.

Five tidbits about Wawa:

1) Their ATM machines do not charge Surcharge fees, which is a huge freaking plus!

2), Wawa does not sell lottery tickets. This speeds up the cash out service and doesn’t clutter the check out area.

3) Wawa sells over 195 million cups of coffee a year. That is a lot of coffee and a lot of toilets flushed afterwards.

4) Wawa is a Native American word for the Canadian goose that was found in the Delaware Valley. That's why we use the goose on Wawa's corporate logo.

5) Mawa is the Native American word for the Canadian Gooses’ dimwitted cousin, the buzzard, which is not used on Wawa’s corporate logo.

“I’m bringing home a baby bumble bee, won’t my momma be so proud of me, well I’m bringing home a baby bumble bee!”