The 10 Worst Celebrity Bodies
Friday, March 27, 2009 at 12:00PM 
This was tougher than I initially thought. When I first put the list together I thought I was being way too bias to the fat celebrity. Then I realized something, being fat constitutes having a horrible body. Trust me, I should know, I have been fat for over a decade. I am a master on the subject, fat rolls be damned!
I have to assume that these will not come as a shock to anyone.
1) Oprah Winfrey
She fluctuates in weight so often it is hard to tell who I am looking at. When she is in shape, I actually find her attractive. (She is worth a boat load of money.) Enjoy life, eat up!!
2) Seth Rogan
He is built exactly like me. It is like looking into a mirror. It is uncanny. This is not good for Seth.
3) Michael Douglas
I saw a picture of him a few years back in a bathing suit. I threw up all over myself. It saved me from working out that day, so thank you Mr. Douglas!
4) Rachel Ray
this is another one that fluctuates in weight often. I would be fatter to, being surrounded by all of that food! There is one difference between Oprah and Rachel though, Oprah is attractive.
5) Drew Carey
This won’t come as a shock to anyone. Drew Carey is fat.
6) Ellen Page
My boobs are bigger than hers but then again my boobs are bigger than most girls. Still Ms. Page is as flat as an 8 year old boy. She is very, very cute though.
7) Philip Seymour Hoffman
A superb actor. He can play any role. He is one of my favorites. He was fantastic is Along Came Polly. He was great in everything that he has been in but when he talked about ‘sharting’ I freaking lost it. That being said, he has a terrible body.
When I was growing up I used to get teased for having a ‘chomach’ which is equivalent to having cankles. A ‘chomach’ is where there is no separation between you chest or your stomach. There is no definition, it is the combination of your chest and stomach, hence the word, chomach. A cankle is the same scenario involving your calf and ankle.
Suffice it say, Phillip does not possess a chomach. He possesses the complete opposite of the chomach. His stomach is so round and defined that he must pop button of his shirts constantly. From this day forward, Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s body will be known as the bizarre-o chomach.
8) Drew Barrymore
One word to define Ms. Barrymore, frumpy. She has the potentially to be really, really hot too. I am keeping my fingers crossed!
9) Jonah Hill
This is the fat dude from Superbad. He is another talented actor. Not only is he pretty fat, but he has this huge scar on this arm that grosses me out. I would rather look at Dane Cook pock marks.
10) Kathy Bates
I know she is getting up there in age. She is a talented actress and I think her looks help enhance her acting skills. Guys certainly are not going to see a movie to gaze up at her for 2 hours. She better be freaking talented! She often doesn’t disappoint me there.
Have a great weekend folks! I am outta here!
Reader Comments (1)
aww I love Seth! hot body or no he is a talented cutie :)