Everyone is Irish on Saint Patty’s Day! People love to get freaking drunk. Is there any other nationality that has a patron Saint that makes people want to drink until they puke their lungs out?

I have a few Italian friends who celebrate Saint Rocco’s Day with the normal tradition of stuffing sausage links in their pants, putting a little extra mousse in their hair and drinking Ragu from the jar while they recite every line from Goodfellas. It just isn’t the same though.

It is pretty crazy how people celebrate this day. Packing the bars all day and drinking beer that is colored green(it actually compliments my eyes). Then passing out and getting drawn all over. It is a tradition.

Looking back on it, I have never been out on Saint Patrick’s Day when it falls on a week day. The hangovers are too tough on me. They should make the day after Saint Patrick’s Day a national holiday so we can all recover properly. People would get really drunk on Saint Patty’s day if that were to happen. It may help jump start the economy.

Imagine all of the money spent on cigarettes, green t-shirts, big green hats, beer and tattoos. They all go hand-in-hand.

The great thing about Saint Patrick’s Day is people get to drink during the day time. What a great feeling. Coming out a bar, drunk, deaf and blind and it is only 1:30 in the afternoon. The sun beats down on your face as you trip over the curb with your hands in your pocket and you smash your face into the curb, knocking your front teeth down your throat. There isn’t a better feeling to me.

So why do people like to get drunk on Saint Patty’s Day and why is alcohol so prevalent in Irish folks?

I did extensive research on the subject and it turns out that Saint Patrick is known for inventing Guinness and the leprechaun. So he has that going for him. He also was the first person to ever do an Irish Car bomb. It’s where you drop a shot of Bailey’s and Irish Whiskey into a half pint of Guinness.

He was way ahead of his time. I think he wore Timberland boots before they were in too, I cannot confirm that last point though.

Secondly, Irish people drink so much because it is the only thing that can make them actually understand what they are saying to one another. They start speaking in clear English. It is crazy.

Thirdly, and this is the most important part of the day, people aren’t really celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day they are out celebrating the birth of the most glorious actor of any generation: Rob Lowe. He was born on March 17^th in the year of our lord 1964.

So there you have it folks. Drink a Guinness for the Waltdog as you celebrate Rob Lowe Day.

Everyone is a Rob Lowe fan on Rob Lowe Day. I may break out my Youngblood jersey tonight. I hope it still fits.

Drink up and be safe.