Ah, my main man returned to the scene last night and that place seemed rocking!  I have to admit, Allen Iverson is a treat. 

I know I am not alone here, but I am actually excited about his returning, not so much because of him, but because the current roster SUCKS BALLS!

Seriously, the team, before AI, had no energy to it and there was not one franchise player amongst the bunch. 

They have some decent role players: 

Thaddeus Young is a decent player, he is what he is, but he isn’t tearing down the house.  I am not a huge Andre Iguodala fan either; I think he has actually regressed as a player and he is way overpaid.  He is a number two at the most.  He cannot carry a team, and he thinks he can.  (Um, Andre, since Lou Williams and Maurice Speights went down, you guys haven’t won a freaking game!) 

They are entrenched in a ten game losing streak, and I think they average about 14 people in attendance at home games.  In comes AI and you know what happens?  His first game home is a sell out. 

Ed Stefanski can spin it anyway he wants, this is not a basketball move.  The Sixers did not make themselves better by bringing AI back; they made themselves more marketable and definitely more watchable. 

I seriously considered watching re-runs of Desperate Housewives over the Sixers before AI returns.  They played about 20-22 games to date and I have seen a collective 5 minutes of their play.  I couldn’t keep my eyes opened.  It was a snore fest.  I would rather study for the CPA, or talk to wifesense about her day then watch this garbage of a team. 

I can’t really blame management for the current makeup of this roster.  I understood that Andre Iguodala was going to demand a poop load of money once he became a free agent.  GM’s always over pay for players like that.  I was also excited about Elton Brand coming on board, but he got old REAL FAST! 

How awesome would the Sixers look with Josh Smith instead of him?  What a terrible move in hindsight, but I couldn’t argue at the time I thought they couldn’t go wrong with either one.  Boy was I wrong. 

I actually want to stress what the real problem is with the Sixers.  It is not their players and it is not their front office.  It is the ugliness of their head coach, Eddie Jordan. 

Has anyone sat down and analyzed this?  He is not a good looking dude.  In order for ugly people to succeed, they need a trade mark or signature move, so to speak. 

Here is a run down of what I am talking about:  Tom Landry had his fedora hat with the feather in the side, Bill Bellicheck has the disheveled looking hooded sweatshirt with the ripped sleeves, and Vince Lombardi had the trench coat and square top glasses look going. 

  In Basketball, Red Auerbach was chomping on a lit cigar all of the time, Phil Jackson is tall and gangly with his signature soul patch under his lip and trendy glasses.  Pat Riley has the slicked back hair and Italian suits. 

None of these guys were Adonis’s, but they did something to their appearance to separate themselves and become legends. 

I am going to eliminate baseball managers here, because they all look crazy.  Why do baseball managers wear uniforms?  I never understood this.  They are all fat and wrinkly and I don’t need to see them in tight pants. 

The Sixers coach, Eddie Jordan needs to do the same thing.  Here are some suggestions.  If he does one of the following, the Sixers may never, ever lose a game again, under his tutelage:

5) Sit in the Owners Box with a head set, like he was a defensive coordinator in football.  He can give his assistant a headset on the bench and he can send in the plays that way. 

4) Wear an ascot and smoke a really long cigarette through an extension.  He can give all of his press conferences using a French accent as well.  Would anyone question his motive? 

3) This one I cannot take credit for, my boy Mark came up with it.  Eddie Jordan should start a new trend and start wearing a basket ball jersey on the sidelines.  Just like baseball managers.  I think he should have his blue tooth in as well, to complete the outfit. 

2) Dress as Baby New Year – I am talking roam the sidelines with a sash across his bare chest with his name – EDDIE JORDAN on it while wearing a gigantic diaper.  Maybe he can have his ears fixed so they stick out too.  I would watch ever single Sixers game if he did this.  Hell I would probably buy season tickets. 

1) Wear a brown paper bag over his head – Like the unknown comic or the disgruntled fans on Cleveland.  How funny would this be?  Again, I would watch every game or get season tickets. 

Anyway you look at it; this dude has to do something to separate himself.  He couldn’t do any worse than he currently is. 

I tell you what, with AI, this team is capable of dropping 85 points on anyone, so watch out NBA, here come the Sixers!