Shoveling is Snow Joke
Tuesday, December 22, 2009 at 10:28AM 
That title is so corny and it cracks me up. I read all of the local papers in Philadelphia and each of them had a front page title just as corny. It is Snow Time to Drive. Snow Doubt, winter is here, etc. I love it!
I love the snow. I do have one significant complaint to God. Why would you dump 20 inches of snow on us during the weekend? Seriously, you should plan these snow storms for a Tuesday, so we can all call out of work and drink hot chocolate and catch up on Jersey Shore.
We are already off on Saturday for crying out loud!
Well the snow by us was awesome. It was semi-wet snow, which is perfect for forming gigantic snow balls. I haven’t lost my touch either. I was pegging trees like it was going out of style. I also hit a passing car from about 35 yards away. I couldn’t help myself.
Wifesense refused to come out of the house with me, I think she sensed the whitewash that was scheduled to come her way.
Walt loves the snow; he doesn’t like having to shovel though.
I spent a collective three hours shoveling our driveway and walkway. I went out around 5PM on Saturday and did an early shovel session. It took me a while because I kept stopping to throw snowballs, but the snow was still light and fluffy, so I could use the shovel like a plough. It was an easy shovel.
I went back out later that evening to clear it up again. It was freezing as shiznit. My balls cannot take that kind of pressure. I did a quick once over and got back in as quickly as possible.
I awoke Sunday morning and noticed that there was about 8 more inches accumulated through the night. I was not happy.
I had to go back out and shovel that shit again. Three times, three total hours of back breaking shoveling.
There was one huge plus for the Sunday shovel – My oldest son came out with me, he is almost two years old, so he is starting to get this stuff. He had snow pants on, a cute ass winter hat, two jackets and snow boots. He was in heaven. He only essentially had one complaint; he HATES gloves.
They are actually mittens, but he takes them off in 2.8 seconds, he also hated having ANY snow on him.
He would jump in the snow, get out and look up at me and have me brush everything off. If I missed a speck of snow, he would point it out and I would have to brush it off until it was all clear. He would then jump back into the snow and I would repeat the cleaning off of the snow.
I was cracking up the whole time. At one point, I drop to my back and did a snow angel and he jumped on my belly and lifted up my shirt and stuffed it with snow.
That will wake you up boy!
The only depressing part was I had to freaking shovel.
I was talking to my buddy Joe down at the Eagles game, and he convinced me to get a snow blower.
He listed out a few key reasons:
1) You can drink beers as you are clearing the snow. Check.
2) It is extremely non-labor intensive. Check.
3) It seems like hard work, so you still get the respect of working hard. Check.
4) It still takes time to complete, so you can get pretty whacked while doing it. A six pack is not out of the question. Check.
5) If you get done too early, you can do you neighbors and become the good guy in the entire neighborhood. Check.
6) You can use the following joke: “I am exhausted. I just got done blowing the whole neighborhood.” “Hey Mike, you need me to blow you too?”
7) There is only one downfall. After you buy a snow blower, there is a very good chance it won’t snow for four years, but it will eventually come in handy. It seems to be Murphy’s Law.
It is Christmas week people. I have to start shopping!
Reader Comments (5)
I used to say I didn't mind the snow, I just hated driving in it. But in the snow belt we lived in, right on Lake Ontario, after about 30 years I was done. I was lucky enough to miss the 9 feet we got dumped on in January of '07; I was with Mikey who was stationed in Germany at the time. All I endured was the typical 48 inches in 48 hours. Fun, fun. But once we had a house back home with nowhere to store a snowblower which made shoveling the driveway, walkway, and sidewalk to our neighboring houses, last February I said, "F*ck this. I'm done". So now we live in Washington State in an area that averages 1 inch per year and dropping below freezing happens maybe once or twice. Life is good.
Sure, it rains all winter and into the spring... but you don't have to shovel rain... or blow it :)
Hey Waltsense, did Joe mention that you must take your snow blower in for service each year before it snows? Is this something you would remember or will Wifesense have to remind you ;)
Same goes if you get a riding mower. Merry Christmas!
So I was just wondering why you were wearing shoes in that one picture. I mean, you get just a little bit of snow piled into the top of your shoes and it is SOOOO COOOLD running down your ankle when it melts, am I right???
Walt, please tell me that's not you shoveling snow in the buff. I really enjoy reading your blog, but that's as far I want to take this relationship for now.
Great story about your son. Makes you glad you had a kid, doesn't it? For a few minutes at least.....
I feel your pain about the snow. Mother Nature I've always thought has a cruel sense of humor. I hate it when the driveway is finally clear and just as I'm about to back out the frigging snow plow man drives by and leaves a mile high pile of snow behind.
I haven't seen Jersey Shore yet but I've been hearing it's calling a lot of controversy because the room mates refer to themselves as "Guidos" and Guidoettes." I have a lot of catching up to do!