Cold Injustice in the Workplace!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009 at 1:31PM 
Check out our friendsWorkplace refrigerator etiquette has been in place for centuries. It dates back to the times of Plato, Homer and Socrates. There has been speculation and various debates that the underlying story depicted in the Iliad (the great story of Achilles and his little heel) is loosely based on poor refrigerator etiquette.
Supposedly, while on his morning break, Hector took a bit of Achilles ham sandwich and put it back in the common Troy refrigerator, without Achilles knowing about it.
Achilles sat down for his lunch and opened up his brown paper bag and notices the huge bit out of his sandwich. He couldn’t prove it, but he suspected Hector all along. Hector came into the Troy lunchroom and he could sense that Achilles was on to him so Hector kept trying to create awkward small talk with Achilles.
Achilles confronted him about the half eaten ham sandwich and Hector continuous denied it. Hector supposedly even showed Achilles a doctor’s note proclaiming that Hector was allergic to ham.
Achilles still was suspicious of Hector, even as hector sat in the Troy lunchroom and ate his Lamb Gyro and a small canister of Sour Cream Pringles.
Achilles rage stirred within him, and he waged a full on war, supposedly over that very ham sandwich. Ham was his favorite, especially the next day, with extra cheese and some spicy mustard. His mom even put in on special sour dough bread, supposedly.
This is all speculation and hearsay about a story that occurred around 8 BC. So you can see where refrigerator etiquette plays a major role in our lives.
My beautiful wife came home last night and told me a doozy of a story. Her company (like all companies) has a common refrigerator area and one of her coworkers brought in hummus, crackers and carrots as a snack food on Monday. That person did not finish it all, and was excited to finish it up on Tuesday, so they left the remaining hummus and dipping stuff in a lunch bag in the common refrigerator overnight.
There was a reason this person did not finish up their hummus. The hummus eating happened to coincide with free bagel day on Monday. My wife’s company provided bagels and all of the fixing to the whole company. Everyone partook in the event, including the hummus bringer.
On Tuesday, the hummus bringer went to retrieve his hummus from the refrigerator and he noticed that his bag had been tampered with.
He opened it up and someone ate all of his hummus and replaced the contents of the bag with a huge BLOCK OF BUTTER that was left over from bagel day.
How awesome is that? Someone ate his hummus and wanted to hide the fact by replacing it with the butter, so the bag still appeared to be weighed down.
When I heard this I had tears streaming down my face. That is classic; butter. If I was the hummus bringer, I wouldn’t even be mad. I would just steal someone else’s lunch and replace it with the butter.
I wonder what else you could get away with replacing in someone’s lunch: A stapler, a box of large binder clips, a toner cartridge. The list goes on. I cannot wait to do this to someone. I am really excited.
The crazy part about this whole thing; it wasn’t the first time something like this happen in this same refrigerator. A few months ago, my wife brought in an entire casserole that she was bringing over to her friends house after work for dinner. She went to retrieve it and someone had opened it up and ate most of it!
Someone in her office has a huge set of balls man. They were smart enough to lay low after the casserole incident, and waited for bagel day to strike again. They must have had the butter plan all mapped our and everything.
I know this is going to sound stereotypical of me, but you have to suspect a fat person right?
This person ate more than half of an entire casserole and an already half eaten container of hummus? This person WAS STARVING. Skinny people don’t do this.
I would start with the fat people and work my way down. Maybe her company could set up a trap involving a fake fountain of cheese or something.
Anyway, people should never and I mean never, ever take someone else’s lunch or dinner from the common work refrigerator, unless that person is willing to replace it with something else; i.e. the aforementioned stapler, or maybe a shoe.
A shoe maybe conspicuous though, considering you would only have one shoe on the rest of the day, so 1) You better have clean socks on and 2) you better have a good reason for your missing shoe.)
This reminds me of someone I know that works at a place where they provide their employees with and endless supply of free cans of soda. This person was pissed off at his/her coworkers so he opened the fridge and shook up all of the free cans of soda and stood by and watch as each of them exploded in his/her coworkers faces. Priceless!
This is how wars are started people! We need to treat each other with the proper etiquette.
Have a happy, happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Reader Comments (6)
Yogurt never gets eaten. I've seen 2 year old yogurt go uneaten. women are the main culprits to firdge spoils!
I also think delicious chocolate cake with whip cream and brownies on the side is to tempting to leave in the common fridge....you leave it there ladies...your going to get a icing swipe..or better yet - a bite out of your cake!
She just needs to spike something (possibly chocolate pudding) with an insane amount of ExLax. Then stakeout the restrooms. The culprit will make himself known before long.
It still appalls me what people will do in the workplace. Butter instead of hummus? Sheesh.
That "Elvis" photo is making me lose my appetite.
Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!
Hahaha, we see this at work everyday. I simply bring pudding. For some reason, no one ever touches my pudding. Its either no one else likes butterscotch, or they know I'm the biggest bitch at work and will eat them alive if they touch my food!!
My sister had a similar problem. Someone kept stealing her dessert cookies from her lunch bag she kept in the faculty lunch room fridge. One day the cookie thief left her a note in her lunch bag: It read: "I don''t mind oatmeal cookies but next week can you bring chocolate chip?" It was kind of silly that a grown adult, another teacher no less would do something like that. After the note she starting keeping her lunch at her classroom desk. The culprit was never caught.
hahaha really funny photo the las one it is like safe meds gallery..